Cold Pretensions

2007-05-25T21:35:00.001-07:00

2007-04-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

what i desire to be, i shrink away yet embrace it.
what i was, i despise yet am unwilling to let go.
the only times i find myself uncaught in the intangible web of dilemmas
is when i look at each side of the spectrum,
and see what i truly desire.

super beat men.
didnt sleep the whole of last night so as to catch sunrise service this morning.
slept for about fifteen minutes today when watching horror show at house with melody, rui jing, amanda and tania.
~~tania~~SHUNHUA has great stamina =)
science test tom.
i think.

2007-03-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

theres something comforting about chatting with friends on msn,
dicussing school with hannah,
drinking jolly shandy,
eating ice cream and
watching bleach in an air conditioned room =)

2007-03-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

its enough to run around all over the place.
i dont need a repetition.

looking back, backtracking, thinking, wishing, if only.
remembering, reliving.
watching.
wondering.
conforming.
losing myself in the process.
well.

just so you know,
i aint running around in circles
not anymore.

2007-03-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

a hard understanding, i'm incomplete.
it's time for me to just sort myself out, once and for all.
enough of all the emo talk and crap.
the guises and just drop once and for all.
no, i don't hate you.
and i promise you,
i'll be a different person, soon.

i might just come back with a new life - and blog.
takkares, people.
shermay's going on an indefinite hiatus.

2007-03-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

i have nothing i ever wanted,
i am nothing i ever dreamed of.
living in a fool's dream, escaping to another world.
do you know how much i envy you?
fearfully made, but not wonderfully.

2007-03-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

i am not afraid to keep on living.
i am not afraid to walk this world alone.

woke up sore, cold, like a melting pot doused with water.
tired, sleepy, lethargic.
uncomfortable, aching.
in short.
i feel like crap.
maybe it's the basketball.
maybe the lack of sleep is finally getting to me.
heckkares, why don't i fall over and die to grant the world a peace of mind.

sometimes, what i really need, is the childlike faith that is long past.

my life has gone out the window, and i don't have the strength to chase after it any longer.
right now, i hear the words, but i don't listen.
i don't feel any longer.

2007-03-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

shermay's marks.
from best to worse.

science - A1 (95%)
english - A1 (81.7%)
literature in english - A1 (77.5%)
history - A2 (73.3%)
mathematics - A2 (73.3%)
Visual Art - B4 (62%)
higher chinese - C5 (57%)

mmm. not expected.
science, A1?
that goes against the natual order.
mm. higher chinese, c5? expected.
mmm. visual art, B4?
expected an F9.
honestly, its an improvement.

mmm. ate homemade fondue today. will post pictures of the disaster.
soon soon.

2007-03-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

my internet..
has FINALLY.
arrived. hallelujah.
in a brown box hahaha.
overloaded with emails. havta go check now.

2007-02-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

rhetorical question achieve no aim,
emphasis on a point that causes poignant pain.
then why do you ask such questions ?
lies are useless against the wave of hurt,
false comfort brings nothing but an abyss of pain,
would it not have been better should you
always have felt the same ?

2007-02-09T06:02:00.000-08:00

an unformed attachment is pain never experienced in parting.
perhaps it would be better if i was a hermit.
but while youre here, ill treasure you.
i let so many others slip away, ill cherish this chance.

on another note.
MY SCIENCE TEST GOT NINETEEN AND NOT TWENTY BECAUSE I LISTENED TO MR WEE. %^&* !!

2007-02-07T01:44:00.000-08:00

nothings gonna knock me off my high
because now i know its fate =)

but i still love perfectness,
which is you =)

2007-02-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

detention two days ago.
serious crap.
couldnt find a classroom for us so we had to keep moving around.
damn irritating.
so yeah, there we were.
min li, fann and me, eating and chatting.
somehow i get the feeling that isnt what detention is supposed to be about.
it was actually fun.
thank God for min li, homework, and the downside of ahs.
tests heaped on tests next week. cant wait for it to be over.
isometic drawing. why do i keep thinking ill fail ?

2007-01-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

seriously screwed angel and mortal today.
half the class knew their angels less than an hour later.
the other half found out in the next hour.
lee sheng is a big hit with the boys, esp with mr zhekai.
had to pay thirty dollars out of own pocket to teacher cause i forgot to ask mum for money.
with wallet hurting so much, theres no wonder im in no mood to blog.
pray pray pray pray that tania can come to my school for the softball match tom.

guess what.
i officially have the flu. but its clearing up.

2007-01-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

"i felt every teardrop when in the darkness you cried,
and i strove to remind you that for those tears i died."
theres a limit to how long tears can be held back.

2007-01-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

and its hard to believe its done. after so long, finally done.

2007-01-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

sometimes i just have to learn to let go.
its been confusing.

2007-01-22T03:23:00.000-08:00

the day has been terrible.
and its been a rough week.

im in desperate need for a long, long, long, LONG holiday.

p/s.
priya just chatted with me from melbourne.
its their freaking school hols there.
$%^&* !!

2007-01-20T07:13:00.000-08:00

im sick of being the most unbeautiful person in my class, team and school.
yet, on another note, i love ahs and 1Goh7 ! =)

2007-01-19T02:54:00.000-08:00

its been a crazy day packed with fun and laughs.
i think im getting used to ahs life.
then again, i hope i dont turn racist.
cause they're a couple of them in my school.

2007-01-17T07:39:00.000-08:00

and so i make plans.
and so i dont seem to prepare for the plans.
and so i make a resolution to think on the spot.
and so i copy my friends homework.
and so i plan not to leave things to the last minute again.
and so i repeat the cycle again.

2007-01-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

its not always about the broken heart.
some things cant be undone.

sleep deprivation.
blistered covered feet.
overload of homework i cannot cope with.
im still hanging on.

2007-01-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

not with utmost certainty but diluted recognition.
past triumphs help, but dont guarantee.
the feeling of regret.
and worthlessness.

- do i sound emo ? -
- screw that emo poet in me -

2007-01-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU MIDOU BAN !!

2007-01-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

i think im sick la.
it was the rain.
getting drenched four days in a row isnt healthy you know.
feel damn cold la.
and i cant stop speaking in chinese.
wth is ahs doing to me ??

im not surviving very well.
so much homework.
have to rush out the history project or im gonna lose ten percent of my CA.
waking up early, studying till so late, then with bball.
cant take it. ohmytian. can i quit ?
theres even practise TMR la !!
this is really affecting my schoolwork.
since the teachers seem to find it their lifes joy to pile homework la.
i even saw my ke xing today. wth.

okay.
i want to transfer to acs(i)

2007-01-12T07:21:00.000-08:00

rgs vs ahs today.
what was meant to be a friendly match got out of control when the rgs players started playing dirty and finally resulted in them knocking out pei ying's teeth.
my team mates were so pissed, and all started crying.
they are so closely knitted ! =)
if you dont play fair, it doesnt matter whether you win, or how good you are.

on another note.
got drenched AGAIN today.
thats like, four days in a row.
im sure everyone knows the REASON.
ARGH.

2007-01-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

i hate the feeling of relying on or owing people whom i fear most to become.
i hate the feeling of having so much undone, the feeling of dread.
i accept the latter to rid myself of the former.

070107.
i congratulate mell, liang fu, joo keng and the young baby grace on their baptism today.
i congratulate cym on five wonderful years.
its been a wonderful day. =).

2007-01-05T03:44:00.000-08:00

to sum up the past few days.
i was elected unanimously the class rep, more affectionately known as chairman.
i was accepted into bball, AHS.
i had a few practises.
i made alot of friends.
i just had practise and im so damn tired i cant be bothered to type anymore.

and i realised AHS is affiliated to ..
drum roll ..
SAJC.

2007-01-01T22:25:00.000-08:00

yes. i wonder how many people have seen the overloaded script of paper i call my thanksgiving.
but of course. we all have so much to thank God for.
and i wonder how many people has seen the even more packed script that i call my new year resolutions.
and how many actually believe ill carry them out.
yes well. as adam khoo says, the best way to ensure you carry out what you planned is to tell everyone about it.
puts pressure, see ?
after all the crap has been extracted from the list, this is what remains.

-to study hard and do well in my new school. and well MEANS well. like, all A1s.
-to be a better befriender and make people feel more wecome.
-heck, to be a befriender in every way, reflected in my life.
-to stop grappling for popularity by being so wary about gossip.
-to start being a more GIVING person. rightttt.
-IMPORTANT - to go for ALL cca practises and get some EXCERCISE and STOP RELYING ON MY METABOLISM RATE.
-GROW TALLER.
-STOP BEING LATE FOR EVERYTHING DAMMIT.
-to know when sadam died [ ie, current affairs ]
-to have a stronger faith in God.
-to be a NICER person. YES.

yes. anything else that needs to be up there ?
2007 has been great so far.
lets hope the rest of the year follows suit.

2007-01-01T04:12:00.000-08:00

as the year pasts, perhaps one should reflect upon what happened before.
yes. glad i spent my new year in church today / yesterday.
meaningful and made me see much more.
when i went up on stage to share my testimonial, perhaps ive told more than i ever did.
when i was discussing among the groups, perhaps i learnt more than i ever did.
thank you Adrielle and Sork Chin, as usual, for being great cgls.

as i reflect. 2006 was a year full of bumps.
sometimes when you get what you want, you see the other side of the coin and realise.
it wasnt that fantastic.
people will always be people.
ive swerved off the track of God so many times.
as Brenda says. the earth has rotated around the sun one more time.

and ive turned a hundred eighty degrees from my past.
there are some things that i will never let go off, like Lindsay.
for others, those that cause me anguish, may they fade far away from my mind.

2006 has been hell.
lets hope 2007 will be the light.

new start.
better not waste it.

2006-12-30T08:49:00.000-08:00

apologies should be made only for what was done conciously, under the knowledge that what was done was wrong.
right now all i have to apologise about was not reading your mind before ever knowing you.
loneliness. perfection. undeleble. regret. bitterness.

yes i feel the emo too.
the photos need to come up soon.
i need the laughs.

BACK FROM THE OC

2006-12-30T03:28:00.000-08:00

okay mild attempt at drama. cant help it.
no, oc isnt the famed, and much loved, orange camp.
it stands for something that rivals the orange camp.
my orientation camp ! whoo !

yes. the cheering has gotten into me.
AHS. school of bonding.
and cheering is one of their teachers.

yes. all the fun.
fun in volans. fun in OG2.
fun with 2 wonderful OGLs.
fun with wonderul OGMs.
fun with the help of God. yes.

owe Sophia the photos of her and Marcus.
the phrase alone suggests itself.
she can rest assured.
if in any case, the 'wedding photos', almost literally, didnt satisfy her,
she could always get another person's [ literal ] view on the matter,
with either Ada or Min Le's handphone.
im sure theyll be happy to oblige.

ps. the only that could complete my sense of joy right now was to take a full bucket of water and dump it on ..
but lets not scar this happy post with words of malice.
or revenge.

2006-12-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

orientation tmr, i havent packed.
i dont want to go.
i dont want to stayover.
i dont want to be surronded by people i dont know.
i dont want to live in the school for three days.
i can see nothing good that might come out of this.
should have gone to tkgs.
all crap. now i know better.
AHS is THE best. =)) #301206

today was worship practise.
must admit, a whole new experience for me.
singing sucked and got steadily worse throughout the day.
sore throat. went to tania the beast's house after that. fun. nice food, too.
learnt to appreciate the worship leaders like byron, taiyu, nina, and the rest.

~~its getting abit hard to mean what i sing now that orientation looms.~~
right now, i mean more of what i sing than i ever did.
thank You, dear Lord, for this blessing.
#301206

2006-12-26T09:04:00.000-08:00

rain rain rain rain.
wow.
trapped at home because of the rain.
parties cancelled because of the rain.
duties unfulfilled because of the rain.
desires set aside because of the rain.

sorry sam, i still owe you your pens.

i dont wanna go for orientation camp.
its a stayover and its for two nights.
why wasnt it longer ? #301206
thats three days for me to feel extra and unwanted in an alien enviroment.
lets face it, im not your popularity home coming queen. no one to cling on.
just fab.
allayed fears by the overwelming team spirit of AHS. #301206

2006-12-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

10 favourites

1. colour : black & white; silver. red & blue ?
2. food : dont get me started.
3. song : dont keep me here till tmr.
4. movie : um. no chance to watch.
5. sport : table tennis [ heh. hannah. ]. basketball. um, BRIDGE considered ?
6. season : winter. with snow.
7. day(s) : friday. saturday. sunday.
8. ice-cream : ben's and jerry's. haagen daaz.
9. books : lotr [ lindsays cackling ]. harry potter. dan brown. mitch albom. um, everything else.
10. soft-toy : um . uhhhhhhh.

9 currents

1. mood : wary. tired. busy. know theres alot to do but not doing.
2. clothes : PJs. going to sleep.
3. desktop : blogger post screen la.
4. toenail colour : um. i dont do makeup.
5. time : 12.29am.
6. annoyance : tmr's orientation camp.
7. thought : orientation camp. stayover. taskete, Kami-sama.
8. boy/girlfriends : dont ask.
9. books im reading : lotr. christian perspective on contemporary youth issues.

8 first

1. best friend : stephanie.
2. crush : who gives.
3. movie : um. les miserables.
4. piercing : um. i dont injure my body.
5. lie : mum thought i would be a wonderful kid.
6. music : should be jazz.
7. car : kiddy roller.
8. handphone : um. some bulky thing.

7 lasts

1. last cigar : in six years.
2. last water : plain water.
3. last car ride : waiting for own car. um, audi TT. =)
4. last crush : current one. not telling who.
5. last movie : material girls. how long ago was that ?
6. last phone call/msn chat : zx saying hi. prob asking about saturday church.
7. last CD played : um. coldplays x&y. oh no. wait. tania's final destination.

6 have you evers

1. dated 1 of my best friends : um. their mostly girls, gays, or attached. so no.
2. arrested : not yet. matter of time.
3. broken the law : i guess.
4. skinny-dipped : uhhhh. socially appropriate answer, nope. =).
5. been on tv : yeeeaaaah.
6. kiss someone you know : um no.

5 things you are wearing now

1. blue track shirt.
2. track shorts.
3. i wear light to sleep.
4. refer to 3.
5. refer to 4.

4 things you have done today

1. searched for food.
2. went and sang throat out at worship practise.
3. played o2jam.
4. missed my busstop.

3 things you can hear right now

1. rain on rooftop.
2. flipping of page of my book.
3. fingers tapping on keyboard.

2 things you cant live without

1. God and my church.
2. my sleeping pills.

1 thing you regret now

1. losing all my high distinction certs from NSW exam [ on last count, about 10 ];
what a waste. could have entered NUS high with them.

12 people you would want to do this quiz
anyone who's bored.
just rip it off my blog, cos i know you want to. heh.

2006-12-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

Ah yes. Christmas.
I really couldn't believe the number of gifts i received.
Never really thought anyone cared.
Never thought i could be so happy.
I'm glad i joined Christalite Methodist Chapel.
It's somewhere where i actually feel at home at.
And i thank Lindsay and God for bringing me here.

Yes. Service. Actually listened in sermon.
Gotta learn to do that more often.
After service. Might as well name it giving presents time.
Daryl gave me a clock. Oh well, im not THAT supersticious.

Had an informal gathering among youths after service.
Playing bridge and stuff.
Oh men, that was fun.
Won every single game and taught Lynette. My new TUDI.
I really think shes my lucky star. Heh.

Went to Marina with;
Boon Teck, Lun Tat, Lynette, Tania, Daryl, Lin, Amos, Rui Jing, Amos, Melody and self.
That's right, self.
For the first time in a long while i actually felt present in the scene.
Not like some onlooker that was dead to the world.

Later returned home to all aunts and uncles.
I really appreciate the warm gestures and conversations, not to mention the presents, but it seems like we are drifting apart.
I didnt feel like socialising.
It doesnt have anything to do with awkwardness.
We just had nothing in common to talk about.
Or maybe i never really tried.
I think im too much of an attention seeker.
I dont like that.

Yes. But the most important thing today, was the sermon.
Amazing how much i learnt.
Makes me wonder how much ive missed out on.
Learn men was created for the glory of God.
I say learnt because i never really gave it much thought.

But anyway.
I thank God for a fruitful and, in a way, although not physically, restful day today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS !
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME ! =)

2006-12-22T07:35:00.000-08:00

someone tell me the answer to a question ive been wanting to know for so long.
WHICH IS BETTER;
ACJC OR SAJC ??
and i dont just mean in marks.
character building, cca, all that stuff.
which should i go to ?? =)

heh. someone tell me ! =)

2006-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

lets do an official statement. varsha krishnan is not in the link list because.
i changed the blogskin but didnt like the new version so changed back.
but the list i used was suuuuuuppppperrrrrrrrr outdated. so thats why alot of people are missing. linkin her nowwwwwwww ..

why is there nothing on tv after midnight ?
im boooooooored ..

2006-12-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

i dont want to write anymore of my problems.
useless. writing them here doesnt help me.
whos going to help me.
im so tired of all the politics, manipulating and so called 'strategies'.
i dont want to care anymore.

maybe i should look at things,
with a less naiive perspective.
stop looking at things the way they are presented.
for reality is not the way you want things to look, or the way they are like, but the way things really are.

i thank God for church.
its a light in my life.
i want to start my new life in anglican.
with my trustworthy friends.

i love all of you in church.
your faiths in God are so strongly set.
i envy you, im not afraid to admit.
heh. standing next to all of you.
i feel unworthy.
i probably am.
arent i ?
God i know you still love me.
even though you are the most perfect of all.

2006-12-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

i saw them smoking.

i actually liked the fumes.

is the secondhand smoke finally getting to me ?

2006-12-20T04:54:00.000-08:00

ARGH. SOMETHING IS WRONG.
I LOST ALL MY OLD TAGS.
ALL THREE HUNDRED PLUS.

oh well. heres some tag replies.
flood my tagbox again. =)

lindsay; heh. dont be crazy la. JIAJIN AND KEITH ARE LYNETTES !! =)

lynette; yes. zixiang is THE evil one. -but- heh. lalalala =)

2006-12-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

back from carolling.
brief update.

missing carolling already. heh. it was fun.
the first item was this band singing rock songs.
they sang the song, "we are the reason",
and as they repeated the chorus, i felt really touched.
it was as if God had touched me there and then.

we sang and later went for refreshments.
lynette was really pitiful .. for .. certain reasons .. xD
ZIXIANG IS REALLY EVIL !!
but still a good bridge player xD
omg laughed SO MUCH with lynette, tania, melody and co.
tania tried to kill me on the stairs on the way to carolling.

later went for dinner with everyone.
drove by liang fu. thanks =)
even chai hwa went.
went home with chai hwa, melody, keith and jiajin.
fun-ness.

2006-12-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

IM BACK FROM CAMP !!
wasnt in much of a mood to blog but cant really resist.
wasnt as good as umad 4 but still want to go back.
if youre not interested, you better scroll to the bottom fo the post.
here goes.

14 DEC, THURSDAY.

travelling to malaysia was pure fun-ness. praise junie for bringing cards ! =)
played tai tee with daryl, lynette, junie, boon teck, tania, dsen, byron, adel, jia jin, wei rong&co.
stopped for lunch at Yong Peng before moving on to our destination.
played even more cards. shared earphones with daryl. music was unsuitable.
linus came up with a cheer. it was so. off.

split into our rooms and had a little mix up.
later split into our youth groups.
in my group was fu wei, mark, lynette, sherman, debra, jeremy, stephanie, keith, jeredy,amanda, hsin ching, hsin wei, and dsen.

we had to make the tallest structure using straws. oh wow.
my group was fantastic. we made the tallest, most unstable structure,
and kept it up by BLOWING it when it fell. as you can guess, we only managed ten secs.
someone was wu liao enough to count. linus, i think. cant be sure.
chose our mortals. got lynette at first. but then we had to swap and i got fuwei.
weirdness.
slept at about two.

15 Dec, Friday
breakfast. worship. sermon.
had this talk on body language and we were to find out which group we were in.
the groups were supporter, analyzer, promoter and controller.

theres something deeply ingrained into my mind.
the guy was asking.
speaker: I NEED A TALL, DARK, HANDSOME GUY AS A VOLUNTEER.
someone [ immediately ]: ZIXIANG !
in a state of total disbelief, i was shocked a guy had said that.
later the mystery was solved. the person who said that was .. zixiang himself.

hannah, danielle and me were classified CONTROLLER, something we had guessed we would be beforehand.
as danielle would say. AMUSING.
also, the speaker had mentioned supporters were wishy washy people.
so this was how me and hannah acted it out.
me [ as controller ]: wanna go out for a movie ?
hannah [ supporter ]: anything la.
me: want some popcorn ?
hannah: anything la.
me: what movie do you want to watch ?
hannah: anything la.

hahahahas.

later me, danielle and hannah were laughing about the handshakes.

had group discussion. juls and adel are good leaders !
me and hannah are just too disruptive =).

that night, during free time, we learnt bridge.
more like, lindsay, nat and junie learnt bridge i already knew how to play.
adrielle taught nat, juls taught junie and liang fu taught lindsay.
zixiang and ven were also there.
later, when the seniors let us play, we each had a guide because the others werent too sure.
i got zixiang. when he came in, junie said hes ungelled hair made him look like ..
DONALD DUCK. and the name stuck.
later, when he was being evil in the game, adrielle said.
WHY DOES YOUR SHIRT HAVE THE WORDS RAGING THUNDER.
so he thought me some stuff [ good teacher ].
lindsay said he was corrupting me, and said i was evil enough.
zixiang said thats why i was qualified to learn from him. heh.

later ven, juls and zixiang left and boon teck, daryl, gabriel, fern, lynette and hsin wei came in.
played and played. later fern, gabriel, hsin wei, daryl, lynette and me went to lynettes room to play.
party was crashed by chai hwa.
slept at about four.
GABRIEL IS DISGUSTING.
DARYL IS WEAK.

16 Dec, Saturday
we were supposed to have games that would make us wet and dirty.
most were reluctant.
me, amanda, lynette and debra went right to the back so we wouldnt have to go first.
i prayed for rain.
so did many others, it appeared as in five minutes.
chai hwa: EVERYONE GO TO THE SHELTER.
most: PRAISE THE LORD;
GOD IS GOOD !

pity the game ics though. they put in so much effort.
later went to meeting room and had some "LIGHT" games.
RIGHT.
had fun nite.
FUNNY.
our group ramah probably lost the most.
thanks to linus's WONDERFUL CHEER.
oh and discovered.
fuwei and zixiang were above 185 cm.
IWANNABEASTALLASMYMORTAL.

stayed up with keith, lynette, jiajin, wei rong, daryl, jeredy, dsen, hsinwei, tania, amos & rui jing.
told ghost stories, played cards and polar bear.
some went up.
supposed to wait for sunrise.
keith had to go back at four because zixiang was expecting him.
he promised to call us in the morning to wake us up.
he asked for our room numbers.
then realised he and zixiang stayed right next door.
im 612, theyre 610. LITERALLY, seperated by a wall.
i promised him hell be in no trouble because NO ONE would stay up till FOUR,
to find out if he's rommmate obeyed hes curfew.
keith said zixiang was a light sleeper.
later, after leaving tania's room, i went back down.
keith was there. zixiang was sleeping. hahahahahahahahahahahahas.

talked and talked.
went up later because lobby was hot. keith said would call us.
slept at about six plus.
woke at around seven.
realised NOONE saw sunrise cause we overslept.
but later found out sunrise couldnt be seen from hotel.
hahas. linus found out some of us were sleeping in lobby.
but we didnt get into trouble. heh.
during service, me and lynette were so sleepy we werent interested at all.
lynette fell asleep.
when she woke, we went out of room with gabriel, hsin fern and co.
talked on stairs.
linus alerted us as to when to return in time for holy communion.

went back to singapore.
stopped at chardin. ULTRA NICE FOOD.
charles ate like a beast.
was fun.
returned to singapore.
ate dinner with daryl and co. went home.
weeee. chapel camp.
I LOVE BRIDGE.
I LOVE BRIDGE !!

today. carolling.
was drenched when reached chapel.
had to change into umad tshirt.
had carolling.
went home.
was drenched on way home.

2006-12-07T01:03:00.000-08:00

yes. yesterday.
took mell's award [ or at least A+ ] winning thesis with me as we parted at the mrt after collecting her shoes from plaza sing.
rushed to suntec to meet teacher for movie .. to not find them.
rechecked joanne's sms to make sure that i was at the right place .. i was.
tried calling her .. no response ..
so i smsed mc. he sent this guy out to get me.
all hail the wonderful mc. yeah right.

watched the movie. apparently, my teacher's church was inviting peeps to watch. right.
talked to teacher. stupid mc got to eat swenson's cause hes group won in some camp. right.
took train home with pam. right.
that was fun.
did some work. read mell's thesis. did more work. scouted for job.
so tired slept at eleven.

2006-12-07T00:57:00.000-08:00

"love is just another word. what really matters is what the word implies."
- the matrix.

"and i write your name in braille,
so when my eyes are blind,
with my tears of blood,
i can stil see your name."
- sam.

wth. jay chou i hate you.
your songs make me freaking emo.

2006-12-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

youll never guess where i am ..
i am in NUS using the library's computer !! small cpu, huge monitor.
we just emerged from a room with comfy chairs and vending machines.
one of them is this sandwich machine that grills the sandwich on the spot for you in ninty seconds ! the last time i saw that it was in the general hospital and i got addicted to the erm ..
addictive taste ??

the machine wouldnt accept crumpled notes so me and lindsay took turns stuffing out notes into the machine .. to watch it being rejected .. and to stuff it in again .. =)
lindsay gave up and went back to our table .. the moment she sat down,
my note got accepted !! hahas !! =)
i got a cup of icelemon tea and sat down to savour my sandwich.
lindsay watched me eating it with relish, got hungry again and asked me to help her put the note in. the more we put it in, the straighter it got !!
on the second try, the note was accepted .. =)

yesterday, after we had gotten back from plaza sing to repair mell's shoes,
this old man stopped us when we got off the bus to ask the time.
i was like okay .. the time .. mell give the time and lets go ..
did that happen ? oh nooooooooo ..
the man started talking about chinese HISTORY !!
im DREADING history in sec school .. and here he is ..
and he goes yadayadayadayada .. and suddenly i heard ..
singapore broke off from malaysia in 1983 ..
i was like ? HUH ??? WASNT IT IN 1965 ??
so then i was thinking thinking .. my brain was burning up .. i was feeling like an idiot ..
then i realized .. WAH, SINGAPORE ONLY 23 YEARS OLD HUH ?
DUMBASS. want to talk, talk correct la ! dont talk cock.

after wasting and wasting our time, mell finally said .. sorry, we are in a rush ..
then the man was like .. oh okay, lets go under the tree, its cooler there.
i was like !@#$% !! HE STILL DOESNT GET THE HINT ??
HES LIKE DENSER THAN DARYL LA. then he talktalktalk ..
he asked if we were Christians .. and we were like .. YEAH ..
and he was yadayadaydayda about how christianity was fake and blah blah blah ..
i was going to push him into the road ..
then mell was like .. erm .. you have your views, we have ours, and we have different beliefs from you. then we ZAO.

the man dunno STALKING MELL OR WHAT, he followed behind us and asked our names ..
mell was like .. keep walking, keep walking .. then we answer while walking and walking as fast as we could ..
just as we were about to start running, or slap him on the face, both options were appealing,
he turned and went home, thats when we realized he wasnt following us,
just walking home.
HAHAS, mell lives less then two streets away .. poor thing ..
kekekeke ..

we went to mells house ..
watched take the lead and shes the man ..
then eat food .. talk crap .. have fun =)
the dinner was SUPERB.
roast pork, kangkong, chilli fish , brown rice and soup ..

then we play .. i love o2jam .. =)
then we playplayplayplay ..
then we play somemore ..
then mell went to sleep with fluffy,
lindsay used com ..
useuseuseuseuuse ..
stepupstepupstepupstepup,
then my turn ..
jamminjammingjammingjamming ..
until three thirty .. then tried to sleep ..
but mell was taking like HALF THE BED ..
even though she OBVIOUSLY doesnt need it,
and lindsay took the three quarters of the REMAINING SPACE ..
so i was squashed.
yes.

this is a REALLY LONG POST.

2006-12-04T03:25:00.000-08:00

well. something happened yesterday that totally changed my mood about the week.
it should have been a wonderful day .. church .. carolling .. with friends ..
before starting on a new week, filled with promises and appointments with friends.
how quickly everything changes.
it began with my mum refusing to send me to church.

that in itself isnt much, unless you knew the background.
she knew i was running late. by refusing to send me there,
she was plainly expressing her distaste for church.
something i knew she always felt.
she actually never wanted me to go to church.
waste of time .. and her money.

then later, while i was turning off the computer, she went off in the car.
to fetch my father from the airport, without bothering to wait for me.
what was worse, i was feeling really stretched yesterday, what with missing church and all.
it wasnt as if i had a pleasant restful sleep the night before.

i was really mad, and started throwing stuff about.
i was at the degree at which no matter how many time i kicked the chair,
my feet felt no pain.
it was as if my anger was numbing my wounds.
freaky.

but, oh well. look on ahead. ive started watching tsubasa chronicles today.
surprise surprise, im addicted.
going over to mell's house tmr for a sleepover ..
hope she doesnt snore.
on wednesday going with teacher on a movie treat for those in my chinese class.
on thursday signing up for some classes.
constant self inprovement, eh ? =)

im really rambling.
sorry for boring you all with my schedule.
if anyone even bothers to read this.
kenton came over today.
remind me to set aside seventy cents the next time he calls.
will do to save me alot of trouble, because i dont know if hes addicted to cup noodles,
or just plain starving.

God bless steven with a safe and enjoyable trip in indonasia =)
may the sun not take its toll on our groups delicate boyboy =)

and to varsha for a safe trip to bali next sunday, when, hopefully, ill be in church =)
jiayan, contrary to your expectations, i am not a lazy baka.

with that cleared up, ill make my exit =)

2006-11-30T18:55:00.000-08:00

carolling. acapella. superidol.
is it just me or have i been doing wayyyy too much singing recently.
fun but.
never knew singing practise could actually be TIRING.
and they seem to all come under the heading of ACAPELLA.
well, say hi to ms alto.

2006-11-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

this is is a quiz that jean sent to me.
apparently its a popular blog thing but she added more questions.
and she said if i dont do it shell never treat me to another b&j.
so here i am, doing the quiz against my will.
this quiz is dedicated to vk, lins, and myself, which is why you wont see our names there .. =)

Name 12 of your friends that you can think of now, then write their names again in reversed order.

01. Tracy
02. Michelle
03. Elizabeth
04. Daryl
05. Meng Chun
06. Kenton
07. Steven
08. Sheen In
09. Mellissa
10. Adrielle
11. Sork Chin
12. Jon
13. Jon
14. Sork Chin
15. Adrielle
16. Mellissa
17. Sheen In
18. Steven
19. Kenton
20. Meng Chun
21. Daryl
22. Elizabeth
23. Michelle
24. Tracy

Q1. How did you meet 10? [ adrielle ]
She's my wonderful fantastic bubbly childish cgl !! =)

Q2. what would you do if you have never met 1? [ tracy ]
If ive never met her, what would i do as she was never around ?
Hahas .. Felt something missing .. a soul mate ? A beautiful friend ? =)

Q3. What would you do if 2 and 6 dated? [ michelle & kenton ]
DIE ?? Shes like three years older than him ? And she cant stand people swearing ?
I'll bet they'll break up in less than a week .. =)

Q4. Have you seen 4 cry before? [ daryl ]
hmm .. i think i have .. i wouldnt remember ..

Q5. Do you think 10 is cute? [ adrielle ]
YES !! in appearance AND at heart .. =)

Q6. How did you get to know about 8? [ sheen ]
hmm .. we were in the same school .. and we both LOVED anime !! =)

Q7. would you ever go on a date with 12? [ jon ]
JON ?? erm .. that sounds SO wrong .. i guess .. the tps date with lots of people ? hahas =)
but hell be in australia soon so thats NOT going to happen =)

Q8. whats 7's fave colour?[ steven ]
wah .. erm .. black or blue or yellow i think .. hahas ..
dunno .. you ask varsha la .. SHES his mother ..

Q9. what would you do if 6 confessed he/she liked you? [ kenton ]
KENTON ?? oh well, thats not as bad as jon ..
hmm .. erm .. tell him .. STOP FOOLING AROUND I KNOW YOURE LYING.

Q10. facts abt 9. [ mellissa ]
shes thin .. shes smart .. shes a fantastic swimmer .. she studies psychology ..
shes prettier than ms universe, her personality is wonderful, she loves me =) ..
SHES A WONDERFUL PERSON LA ..

Q11. who's 4 going out with? [ daryl ]
SHERYL !! HAHAHAHAHAS !! =)

Q12. who is 5 to you? [ mc ]
EH ? a very very good, rather shuai friend who likes initial d, jay chou and anime ?
and who got me addicted to naruto ?
and whom everyone who see his photo think his my bf even though he IS NOT.

Q13. would you ever live with 13? [ jon ]
!!!!!!!!!! ERM !!!!!!!!!! dunno .. YOU TELL ME LA.
sounds so wrong men ..

Q14. is 2 single? [ michelle ]
erm.. as far as i know ? =)

Q15. what do you think about 3? [ elizabeth ]
shes wonderful but abit scary .. =)

Q16. whats the best thing about 5? [ mc ]
erm .. hes WACKINESS. hahas .. everything la.
how do you single out something about a person ? =)

Q17. what do you like about 11? [ sork chin ]
shes wonderful, pretty, responsible .. and has HORRIBLE TASTE IN GUYS !! hahas =)

Q18. Favourite memory with 2? [ michelle ]
playing at the playground .. =)

Q.19. If 16 suddenly died, what would you do ? [ mellissa ]
be sure that it was her reckless driving. be super depressed.
feel like crap. be extremely sad. refuse to accept it. those things .. you know ? =)

Q.20. Its New Year, and 21 & 23 invited you to their house. Whose would you choose ? [ daryl & michelle ]
i would make time for both of course !! =)

Q.21. 17 wants you to shave your head bald. Would you do it for him/her ? [ sheen ]
sheen wouldnt do that, would you sheen ? =)

Q.22. Can you see yourself dating 19 ? [ kenton ]
NO. I KNOW ITS NOT POSSIBLE.

Q.23. 24 offers you something youre sure is drugs. What would you do ? [ tracy ]
slap her on the face and tell her to stop it or i will call the police.
shes too god a friend to lose to drugs.

Q.24. 20 has relationship problems with 14. What would you do ? [ mc & sork chin ]
that would be plain wrong. shes EIGHT years older !!
tell mc that he broke sork chin and bernard up and that he and sork chin
were NEVER meant to be together .. =)

Q.25. Something bad about 15. [ adrielle ]
erm .. a little childish .. and with an UNBELIEVABLY SICK MIND. =)

Q.26. Something good about 17. [ sheen ]
EVERYTHING. HER ANIME OBSESSION, HUMOUR, LOOKS !! EVERYTHING !! =)

Q.27. A dark secret about 22. [ elizabeth ]
ELI HAS A DARK SECRET ? WHY DIDNT SHE TELL ME ?? =)
shes open minded and keeps nothing .. as far as im interested =)

2006-11-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

okay. jiayan is dead. too bad for her i got the aggragate to torture her in dhs.
me and winston vs jiayan and ben.
the first thing were gonna do is tell ben some dirty little secrets.
followed by mabel.
and the other jiayan.
then the principle.
and the sc committee members.

and now.
for the truth.
BEN NG IS USELESS.
=)
i can see jy dying.

2006-11-29T02:28:00.000-08:00

i wonder. have i been wrong all this time ?
wrong about my own friends, the people who truly care.
all this while, ive been thinking of her as a friend, and yet, backstabbing her in front of you, for your own pleasure.
you threaten me with a loss of our friendship if i did not hate her ..
the lost of our friendship which i once thought was so strong, but was instead fragile as glass, breakable upon the first obstacle .. while the one i built with her ..
it has been so strong .. so strong that it encounters no obstacles.
you threw a temper in front of me when you found out i still regarded her as a friend ..
i humoured you, hoping you would forgive me, but now that i think back.
what could you forgive me for ? not letting you control me ?

in jealousy you hate her. you say she deserves nothing she has.
you say she'll get her retribution one day.
who are YOU to say that ? how do YOU know that she didnt deserve it ?

you hate her .. for her single transgression agaisnt you.
what was wrong with what she did ? she had been in the dark of what she had done wrong ..
or maybe, at that point of time, she did have malice in her heart ..
but you never gave her a chance to show you she had turned over a new leaf.
instead, you continued putting her down, showing a fake facade in front of her while stabbing her in the back when all was dark.
i feel like kneeling in front of her and apologize for everything that i have done, but its too late now, all just too late.

im guilty. im a traitor. im not worthy for her to call me her friend.
she never tried to on purpose make me feel bad. you did.
you told me to get lost when it suited you.
you begged me to be around when you wanted it.
like a dog i followed you.

that day .. on the one day i knew that whatever facades could be dropped and all would be meaningless ..
she still cared. she comforted me. she tried her best to help me.
but you .. you .. you gave a simple glance, and cast me aside to pursue your own wants.
how long would it have taken to show your nonexistant concern ?
you could have lied. just for that one last time.
she knew that you hated her. she knew i listened to you.
she knew she could have stepped on me and laughed on that day,
but instead, she cared.

you never wanted to help me. never. you let me help you out of the worst times of your life,
but you never helped me in my simplest problems.
you put me down when it suited you,
pretended to lift me up when everyone else did.

i need confirmation.
i feel worthless. ive hurt everyone who truly cared.
ive tried my best to love those who never loved back.
i hope you get what you deseve soon.
you who wallow in your own pool of pity, thinking everyone should love you,
because YOU are the one who has gone through all the suffering,
because YOU are the one that knows all pain.
let me tell you something, you know NOTHING.
but she does. she knows the pain of being alone,
the pain of not knowing who to trust,
the pain of wanting to turn back the clock so much ..

you try to exclude me in everything you do,
you try to get everyone to exclude me,
while pretending youre trying to help me.
i just want to start a new life.
one that you wont mar.
why wont you just let me do that ?
you have to appear in everything that i do.
in the one place where i had hoped so badly i could find consolence ..
find the answer why i still wanted you to accept me so badly,
youre there, excluding me again.

please, someone, tell me.
tell me you truly care.
tell me youre not pretending to care.
tell me ..
tell me you care for me.
tell me youre truly my friend.

if anyone could just say that they are my friend for who i am,
through all my darkest days,
like how she did ..
then perhaps i wouldnt be a meaningless existence after all.

2006-11-28T04:47:00.000-08:00

shermay is starting a new life.
from today onwards, shermay will be a positive person.
she will work hard in school and be the pride of her teachers.
she will try her best to help all her friends in times of need.
she will try her best to give good advise to all friends who need any.
she will do well in school and be put on honour roll.
she will treat all her friends better, even daryl teo.
she will be dedicated to her church.
she will try even harder to be more Christ like.
she will be more dedicated to her ccas.
she will do her best in everything she does.
she will be succesful in everything she does and likes.
she will start a job and be successful in that.

shermay.

2006-11-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

its funny the things you find when youre cleaning the house.
a monopoly game i thought was burned .. a huge teddy bear the size of adrielle ..
well. i wasnt exactly cleaning. i was looking for a sleeping bag.
spent the whole night and day. those who think they know what fustration is ..
omaewa zenzen wakanai.
you guys dont know anything yet.

2006-11-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

hell ive just been overloaded by shoes.

i stepped into the store room, touched a box, and in true blue cartoon fashion ..
a pile of shoes landed on me.
when my parents return from bangkok, my mums gonna find herself less ninty nine pairs of shoes ..
converted in a few hundred dollars cash at a garage sale.
of course, she wont know about the cash .. =)

2006-11-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

i hate my marks i tell you.
i hate them.
ihatethem.
IHATETHEM.
IHATETHEM.
IHATETHEM.
IHATETHEM !!

2006-11-22T01:08:00.000-08:00

is it a popular opinion that i have split personality ??
or is any individual of that opinion ??
daryl, i know you are =)

2006-11-22T00:52:00.000-08:00

for an unaccountable reason, ive been sandwiching my thumb between two of my fingers and waving it around as i listen to music.
the plain symbolic significance of it seriously freaks me out.
i need a psychiatrist.

hmm .. a test i have just taken seems to have the opinion that i am 100% a paranoid schizo.
now, isnt that just lovely ??
it ties in with the test varsha did for me which produced the answer ..
"i dance the macarena because the voices tell me to"
as if the illness itself is not enough of a terror ..
youre telling me it further sends me spiralling down the depression chute by making me do ..
the MACARENA ??

and as the voices in my head tells me to jump off the building ..
i feel my feet walking towards to ledge ..
briefly .. i feel the wind upon my face ..
this time .. i wont be called a coward ..
this time .. i will do it ..
i close my eyes. i breathe.
i jump ! ..

and land with a bump on the floor as my heroic leap of faith has landed me ..
in the world of the living as i arise from my sleep ..

how lame. this further proves the point that i cant be an author ..

2006-11-20T21:37:00.000-08:00

there was once a girl called min li.
she had a sick mind, and was enamoured of buffaloes.
her strong fist guarenteed her protection against anything her adoring fans could set upon her.
she was blessed with a beautiful face thanks to her wonderful genes.
she was my daughter.

she was also my ahmah.
her uncle is jonathan leong, who is dating a guy called ryan.
her aunties are tracy loh and lindsay chong [ maybe ?? ]
she was adopted.

her occupation is a toilet cleaner at smh.
her ambition is to go to ping yi secondary.
she calls me okasan.
and she might have another adopted brother soon [ hint !! =) ]
she is looking for a father.
pray she doesnt find one.

this report was typed by;
madam chelsea ice ireland.
mother of minli.

2006-11-19T17:55:00.000-08:00

no slippers. never again. no.
im starting to wonder if theres any skin left on my feet.
no. from now on, its strictly converse and sandals for me.

at krissbees yesterday, i officially declared myself a pig.
on account of the amount of food i was eating.
and it seems i have also turned into 'madam'
courtesy of our beloved daryl .. who couldnt miss the opportunity to brand me such in the skit yesterday ..
and sam .. who gave him the opportunity ..
and jon .. who crystallized the whole thing through his bow of respect ..
HE DIDNT EVEN GET MY SURNAME RIGHT WTH !!

so .. putting two and two together .. i am now madam pig.
any shuai guys with the surname pig ??
guess not.

[ and so .. i will remain plain mdm until someone comes along .. ]

2006-11-18T00:09:00.000-08:00

grad is over, i wont see my friends again.
moyiichido, i just want to wreck havoc at jie jie nicole's shop again ..
moyiichido, i just want to muss steven's hair again ..
moyiichido, i just want to be with all of them again.

grad .. to andre, marcus, erwin, etc.etc. good job with the break dancing !! =)
to all those who sang the grad song with me .. lets hate faith hill together !!
to mus .. congrats on being crowned ms temasek !!
to michelle .. sexy dancing !!
to siying .. GO GOH SIYING !! great line dancing !!
to erwin .. GO ERWIN !! ERWIN FAN CLUB !! =)

i love my school .. mind you .. i looked super stupid in grad clothes ..
wanted to do my hair .. BUT ..

JOSHUA LOOKED SO DAMN SHUAI IN GRAD CLOTHES !!
SIYING LOOKED SO CUTE !! JAP SCHOOLGIRL !!
MR DE LOOKED HOT !! LOL !!
I LOOKED STUPID !! WOOTS !! WOOTS !!

hahas .. erm .. okay .
to someone im super pissed at ..
i have lots of regrets in my six years of this school.
one of my largest regrets was not being someone worthy of your tears.
we could all see ..
your tears werent for us ..
just your own selfish desires.

2006-11-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

2006-11-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

went out with varsha and her mum to shop for grad clothes yesterday.
we hopped from place to place. ATE CHOCOLATE FONDUE, YEAH !!
but my mum still wont pay.
forget it. i will sort it out myself. since when could i EVER rely on her ?? NEVER.

TODAY WAS FUN. had a farewell party.
6H was putting all sorts of RUBBISH into a cup of bandung.
and daring people to drink it. i took a sip. GAGGED AND ALMOST THREW UP.
but got two dollars for it.
marcus vomitted TWICE. go marcus !! siying has good taste !! =).
spent most of the day practising acapella.
i hate you faith hill.

2006-11-13T04:56:00.000-08:00

okay. i saw this car called the audi TT claude or something in the papers.
and i saw my friend said his mum is about to buy one...
i dont even know if its released yet.
hmmm. im a car dunce... i only know the expensive ones...
so someone tell me...
IS AUDI TT A GOOD CAR ??
from what i see in the papers... ILIKEILIKE!! =)

2006-11-13T01:54:00.000-08:00

we... lost. oh well, it was expected.
how long did we practise? like a few hours?
and HALF the time we werent even concentrating.
for some reason, me and mc turned up loking like we were attending a funeral.
ALL BLACK. hahas. even winston and jy didnt look like that.

oh well. it was a memory.
the song qing tian now formed an attachment with me.
now that grad is so near, i feel rather lost.
i know ill miss everyone so much.
esp those in my flea market group.

the words spoken by sasuke [ and quoted a mil times by our mc ] are wise.

'it painful because of having ties...
how could you ever understand how it feels to lose them ?'

and yes... if i had never formed these attachments
would i care about losing them?

ill miss all of you.
i wish we continued the same class into sec school.
but if we werent going to be seperated,
would we have treasured all these times we had together ?

'to me, its a tie i finally made...'

2006-11-12T00:05:00.000-08:00

went to winstons house for singing practise yesterday.
it was fun. played around with the love calculator.
ALOT of weird combinations came up...
but more or less we did our thing as we sang.

winston played maple...
jy sent smses to her numeruos bfs...
me and mc fought for the psp...
i read... and tried to push the damn mc off the bed.
unhappy, he pushed back.
may i remind you, he has his very painful two finger punch on his side?

played darts. i won all by about a kilometer to a mile or so.
raided winstons biscuits while gossiping crap.
went back at about six thirty. jy's mum fetched her home.
and i took the bus back with mc.
slept at about five thirty that night for no reason.
just couldnt get to sleep.

and today. nothing eventful happened.
of course, there was the incident at the coffee shop.
dora took the class photos...
it was circulated around...
now i seem to have a 'bf'.
i assure you. i DO NOT.
the general opinion was, "not bad la, not bad. "
YOUR HEAD LA. I GOT NO BF LA.

oh, and lindsay thought me a new way to say 'F YOU'
two fingers held up,
palm facing self.
no, it doesnt mean cheese.

2006-11-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

got through the auditions and merged with mc's group.
now it's winston, jy, mc and me.
it was and exhausting day. had to chase after jy who wanted to back out...
as well as emcee for the grad vid with joshua.

after school went with jy and nikki to tm to watch material girls.
not bad. it's a bimbo show. i'm not a bimbo, mind.
so tired now.

ever since stepping out of the freezing cinema,
my toes on my left foot seemed to be sprained.
oh fantastic fantastic.
hope it won't hamper my trying to memorize the lyrics for practise session at winston's house tmr.

2006-11-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

as i stare out the window, i question.
what was it all for?
the anger, the harsh, cutting words, the attempts at mind twisting.
it was all so pointless.

i'm so tired of it all.
all my life, doing things i regret... knowing there's no way i can go back and change it.
maybe i'm just an ass and don't even realise it.
maybe i hurt people by being an ass.
maybe i shouldn't even be typing this.
maybe i should have been cast into oblivion from the start.

i'm starting to wonder if i had ever brought true happiness to anyone.
or whether the happiness had only been acheived with relief at my turned back.
there's too many maybes.
too many questions.

right now, i want to know if anyone hates me.
i think alot of them do.
too many questions.
no answers.

some talk about pain, dillemmas.
yet in their words i hear hidden malice.
maybe it's all a conspiracy.
maybe.
maybe.

2006-11-06T02:03:00.000-08:00

crapcrapcrapcrap.
vk and lindsay are at this leadership camp with.
ryan chan. for those of you who don't know who he is. he is this guy whom EVERYONE thought.
I had a thing for. those who believe.
GO DIE.

just great. hope he never goes within another twenty kilometers of them.
oh. and talked to this girl jasmine yee over the phone.
she sounds cool =)

MUCH cooler than vk in ANY CASE.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT VK??
oh... and apparently they've been talking nonsense.

i'm jealous that they get to go to mix with such cool people.
BUT. jealousy ENDS there.
LINDSAY CHONG MING JING.
THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU.
YOU.
ARE.
DEAD.
I. WILL. KILL.
YOU.

oh. shermay takes a voodoo doll of jy. shermay puts it in a boiling hot pan of oil.
shermay watches in satidfaction as it deep fries.

ouch. my nose HURTS.
and i can't breathe.
I HATE YOU HAZE.

2006-11-05T01:25:00.000-08:00

when did everything around me change, without me even realising?
maybe i've just been detached for far too long.
maybe i don't even belong.
maybe i don't even know what i'm doing here.

2006-11-05T01:20:00.000-08:00

shut up. get lost. so bloody unpredictable. the world doesn't revolve around you.
you can't get everything you want, whenever you want. i hope you get that.
don't give me your crap. just get lost. don't kid yourself anymore.
i don't know if i hate you, or just plain pity you.

am i talking to myself?

2006-11-05T01:13:00.000-08:00

i wandered around, deliberately missing my stop, riding the bus for ten additional stops no apparent reason.
what am i living for? would you know i disappeared?
what would change?
can i go back to being dead after being alive?
and yet, was i ever really alive?
what's the meaning of life, anyway?

2006-11-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

cry as if you're hurt.
smile as if you mean it.
shout as if you're angry.
love as if you even know what it means.

2006-11-02T01:53:00.000-08:00

okay...
today's pics.
or i'll run the risk of getting nagged at again...

heh... the mushroom blocks...
took them in such a way it looks like their falling...
HEH. in a moving bus also eh...
i'm so talented men...=)

group photo. AGAIN, i couldn't be in it because i was taking the photos...
so sad...
our siying looks so pretty! mc looks very... erm... smart? steven looks cute! varsha... no comment. HAHAS.

this pic. looks retarded.
talk about bad camera moments...

okay. not many pics to post this time.
some of the pics sucked.
some were repititions.
photography wasn't allowed in most of the places.
again, all photos are copyright, hor.

2006-11-02T01:17:00.000-08:00

postponed photos. yesterday in science center. group photo.
I HAD TO TAKE THE PHOTO SO COULDN'T BE IN IT.
heck. the downfall of being their bloody photographer.
hmph.

dry ice on water! cool, right? hahas... =)

hahas... our very own mrs stanford raffles!

hahas. here's the simple life. beautiful scenery?
as beautiful as it can get in the science center...
hahas. sometimes, i wish i lived in a farm...
HAHAS!!

hahas. our group star!!
as you can see... SOME PEOPLE'S FINGERS
ARE SO NICE
I'M JEALOUS!!
HAHAS!! =)

okay. ALL this photos are under copyright.
no photos are to be used without prior consent of shermay.
and you must put credits HOR.
hahas! =)
actually... only posted this cause nagged at to do so hor...

2006-10-30T23:23:00.000-08:00

happiness can be the ultimate painkiller.
on the way to kent ridge today, i felt really happy.
everyone was in a good mood, and just ready to start an excursion.
the entire class just played idiot on the trip, like we always do.
it was great to see everyone acting like their normal, happy selves.

but on the way back, everyone was engrossed with their phones.
for a while, i tried to play a few games, but i had a terrible headache and so i rested.
lent steven and kenton my phone.

heh. pictures! now that i can upload the pics... i'm addicted!! heh =)

the food steven kindly left out for the ants...
what a kind hearted boy.
HOI, THAT WAS MY OREO!

our favourite sweety siying, grumily expousing the greatness of jigs... in an attempt to finish the damn chips... =)

a blurry pic... it was the sandwich steven kindly gave me... MY ASS, NO, HE'S NOT GENEROUS.
HE DIDN'T WANT.
hoi. the ham sandwich was nice hor...

steven, drinking replenishing fluids...
we all drank from the same bottle...
eh, not all like steven hor...
we POUR into our mouths...

freaky image...
heh.
what do you think it is?
whooooo...

haha. i LOVE my class... =)

2006-10-29T05:20:00.000-08:00

today was one of the best and most fun days ever!! =)
had befrienders... daryl and i stood outside the hall...
he stood there for an hour imitating a lamppost.
haha. no offense daryl. nice offering, by the way... =)

lindsay, nat, tania, mell, jon, daryl, me... erm... anyone else? we were walking around...
cause we weren't sure where to go...
all confusion caused by mell. she said go to hall. [ not hell. HALL. ]

anyway... totally missed the entire youth programme...
we weren't the latest though. chai hwa made a jerky speech.
people kept streaming in and he had to pause everytime the door opened.

haha. next was...
CAPTAIN BALL.
mell and i were looking for our names on the com...
YAY!! i was in the same group as mellie!!
at least, that was what i thought until she said revealed her secret.
she who we all thought was very fit. was.
scared. of. balls. ...-.-

not sure of all the names of those in my team... haha ><".
erm, i know there was hannah, bings, mell, jon, daryl, me... haha. dunno the rest... ><"
first game. won.
second game. lost.
third game, won.

during finals, talked to mell, lindsay and nat...
made fun of a certain egyptian pharoah...

went to singpost for lunch. happy.
so sian of krissbee's food.

erm. saw this towel behind mell. thought it was hers...
so used it to wipe sweaty smelly head.
then put on her head.
oops.
found out it was the pharoah's.
oops. sorry mell.

mum called the moment i got off fourteen.
said she was going to singpost.
...
had to walk home to go to a place i had been to less than half an hour ago.
wah lieu.

on hindsight.
should have gone with mell.
then when mom called.
would have been in chapel. and could slowly saunter to singpost. wah lieu.
if only. ah well. there's a chinese proverb that describes this... but i forgot... heh. =)
met li shan at popular in singpost. =)

went tm. ate sakae sushi. yum. i prefer the food in japan though. haha. =)
yup. this has been a long post and a fun day.
ouch. my feet are in agony.

2006-10-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

all that's left is the sweet melody of the piano...
the last chords of the finale...
are like music to my ears...
haunting melody of you...

what do you want me to say?
i don't even want you to leave.

i hate this smile.
but i shall keep smilling,
if only so i shall never need to see you again...

you forced me...
to cherish the time left with you...
crushing my thoughts of seeing you everyday...

and i go to sleep in the night...
almost forgetting the one word you said to me...
as if you've never known me...

'goodbye'

2006-10-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

update on netball;
we lost. we got fourth position. ah well.
still getting a medal. =)

went to the moral home for the disabled today.
as in mentally disabled.
get what i mean??
makes me feel so privileged to be able to do so many things.
i don't understand why the others were afraid.
there's nothing harmful about them.
in a way, they are less harmful then those with our intelligence.

heh. we did line dancing for them.
and i was the OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHER.
muahahahaha! after joshua has been flaunting it in front of my face...
I HAVE SOMETHING TO FLAUNT BACK!!
muahahaha!! okay... i'm so evil... =)

talked to marcus.
heh. i know something he doesn't. =)
almost drove him and jiayan mad wanting to know what it is.
siying knows. =)
hint. something to do with his birthday... =)
heh.

lalalala... in a good mood.
feeling really HIGH!
no, i'm not taking drugs... =)

oh, and TEACHER WANTS ME TO TAKE PART IN SUPERIDOL!!
at first, she asked li hui, mc & me to rap jay chou...
but mc say he sing with winston slow song,
because winston's voice is very high...
haha... =)
and teacher said he can choose that, jay chou, or bu pa bu pa by guo mei mei... =)

lindsay wants me to burn a cd with pictures for her...
should i? =)

2006-10-25T05:28:00.000-07:00

frozen. quiet. silent.
standing in solitude.
cut off from the rest of the world.
to some, that may sound like hell.
to others, that may sound like heaven.

which category do you belong to?
to feel in danger, standing on the thin point of fragile ice.
about to splinter in every tiny move you make.
unsure of yourself.
surronded by people you don't know whether you can trust.

expectations crushing you.
fear of failure.
fear of loneliness, and yet,
a strange desire for it.
an urge to feel the pain of sacrifice.

sometimes...
trusting too much...
having too much...
being too contented...
loving too much...
caring too much...
can be the worst you can do.

because, when you lose everything...
you feel, why did i even form these ties,
if all that's going to happen is that i would lose it?

why do i have to leave?
why do i have to be rejected?
why am i the one who has to make the sacrifice?

i'm already gone...
i'm already disappearing...
i'll slowly fade...
gone from your sight...
tell me, is that what you want?

if it is...
then i'm sorry i ever bothered you...
i'll just go...
if that's what you really want...
tell me, do you find me a bother?

lost in solitude,
fear...
betrayal...
death...

everyone is born with their own destiny,
fighting it is a natural born instinct,
and yet, how many succeed?
the strong will be strong.
the weak will be weak.

a desire for love,
a fear of losing it,
i resist,
but can you go through life without love?
yes.
no.
i don't know.
will you tell me?

i shall go eat oreo now.
a random thought...
infiltrating my head after listening to,
'an jing' by jay chou.
the word 'an jing',
means silence,
but to an extent, it has connotations
of solitude, loneliness and melancholy.
and that shall be the title of this post.

2006-10-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

i realized i linked vk wrongly. go click on her link and see what happens...=]
decorated like crazy yesterday at her house. la.

was chatting just now.
mc was eating oreo.

THAT brings back memories... =]
to my close friends, i'll give you a hint.
oreo man. heh.

NETBALL!! WE TRASHED THE TWO TEAMS!!
first game; 4-3;
second game;5-0

the second game was agaisnt 6J... THEY PLAYED DIRTY AGAISNT OUR SOCCER TEAM!!
we were winning steadily against the other class...
fantastic saves by the goalie...
the other players were performing as if they belonged to arsenal...
then when they played with 6J, we scored the first goal...
they scored the second, and while arun, our star player was tackling a ball,
A 6J STUDENT PUSHED HIM AND STEPPED ON HIM!!
and the stupid referee didn't even notice...

our soccer team got kicked out today, but we trashed 6J in netball for them...
6C NETBALL SHALL GET FIRST!!

2006-10-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder.
which is better, ignorance or knowledge?
-
the haziest of connections can sometimes be pulled from nothing.
if you want.
-
if you are good in everything you do,
wouldn't everything be worth doing?
-

blah.
confessions of a damaged brain.

heh. did the BOOGIE FEVER today.
fun. jiayan was scolded by mrs kwek... for sleeping through a speech we heard her make TWICE about the 'transfering of weight' ie. shaking her monstrous hips... heh...
too bad jiayan. not only have you been branded a pig by a teacher who is one herself...
you are apparently from 6B;D;E,
anywhere besides our perfect 6C... =]

passionate teacher takes over...
now, darrrrrlings... isn't this just the most FAB names? come one, say it with me...
BOOGIE FEEEEEEVERRRRRRRR... can't you just feel the lyrical curl of the boogie?
feel the rolling of your tongues when you say feverrrrrrrrr...
now listen closely... steps, darling, are rather complicated.
there are EIGHT eights... count with me...
1;2;3;4;5;6;7;8;
2;2;3;4;5;6;7;8;...
anywayyy, darling, follow the steps with me...
i shall do them for you and tell you the steps...
try your BEST to imitate me later, okay? i KNOW you can do it, darrrrrling...

steps for boogie fever;
[ right leg first ] step; step; step; kick; [ left leg ] step backwards; step step; touch;
[ right leg ] one step out; SHIMMY to the right [ four counts ]; and to the left;
right foot replace; vine to the right [ four counts ]; vine to the left [ four counts ] ending with a TOUCH;
walk in a circle [ eight counts ]; you should end with your weight on your LEFT leg;
right leg forward; transfer weight; [ quick beat; two in one; for FOUR COUNTS ];
the same for the left leg;
step forward, turn, touch, step forward; touch; repeat again;
cross; point; cross; point; cross replace; half turn;
MONTRE quarter circle;
point upwards; weight on RIGHT leg;
point downwards [ sheath ]; weight on LEFT leg; [ JOHN TRAVOLTA MOVE ];

okay. the boogie fever.
if you can't visualize, or do it yourselves; tell me;
i'll give a demonstration;
the dance is REALLY FUN!! =]

2006-10-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

THREE posts in one day. i must be really hyper.
oh no, wait, it's after twelve, so this is the first post of a new day.
heh.

tricked Juls yesterday // today, by saying, "there's a dead bird!" to her;
she actually looked up! =]

speaking of tricks, Nat has this fake chewing gum with a dead bug // cockroach...
not many people fell for it... BUT...
mell.
SCREAMED.

I FINALLY DOWNLOADED AUDITION!!
not have to wait for it to load.
feel like killing jiayan...

have a headache now.
it's getting from bad to worse.
hmmm. fall down when i get up from chair or bed more often nowadays.
doctor gave medicine.

well. you know what they say.
when life gives you headaches, take headache medicine!

okay... i'm going dumb...
this entire post has been redundant.
just a way to kill boredom...=]

2006-10-22T07:05:00.000-07:00

i've just uploaded pictures from kenton's house. and i breathed onto my finger. it's black now...

ms varsha's famous 'adopted son' steven, posing for us horde of screaming fan girls...

our darling mc, acting like a loner... cool pose, mc, you just gotta work on the socialising abit...

heh. okay, this is SERIOUSLY a nice pose, what was i to do, let it go to waste? hey, the guy has photogenic qualities...!! eh... no narrow mindedness...!!

hmmm... totally innocent? okay, it is, but if i didn't tell you, would you know? this is a sabo pic... i'm a pro at taking them... =]

mc & kenton, racing up to the only seat, in a fight for... i forgot what...
don't they look like monkeys?
heh. a group of monkeys climbing up the ropes in kenton's tree...=]

okay, there are alot more... but can't be bothered to wait for them to upload... lol... too bad... you'll just have to wait till i create an acc on one of those photograph webbies...
then you all can download our movie star poses! =]

2006-10-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

today was super fun. went to church. like normal. lol. cg was a bundle of laughs.
as usual. went for lunch at krissbees.
strong wind. we thought God was answering prayers for rain.
then anne pointed out. just because it rained here. doesn't mean its raining in indonasia.
group feeling of stupidity. lol.

took train back with tiffany, auntie grace, melody, and dora.
melody and dora came over. yay!
melody seems to really like my house. =]
played blackjack.
bet with my father's MAH-JONG CHIPS.
wah lieu. heh.

was forced to be banker cause i was winning too much.
lol.
anyone wants to play CARDS WITH ME?
muahahaha. dora was the first bankrupt.
then mel bet all her chips. she won again and again.
but then i won.
in one fell swoop, i took all her chips and won.
teaches you something, doesn't it?

dora, the one with the "deprived childhood" was loving my brother's toy car.
the one you can ride in.
walked them out. =]
super fun!! =]

now. report on yesterday.
went for befriender's. mr dong was LATE.
OI, YOU'RE THE ONE ORGANISING IT.
IF YOU CAN'T WAKE UP, HOLD IT LATER LA!
PEOPLE WANT TO SLEEP EH!
YOU SEND YOUR AUNT TO AIRPORT AT FIVE...
i just fell asleep that time, you know??

then went to bugis with nat, lindsay, and daryl.
ate at yoshinoya. WHAT KIND OF FAKE JAPANESE FOOD IS THAT?
INSULT TO JAPAN!! I HATE YOU!!
daryl ordered the chawanmushi. TWO FIFTY.

one bite and i knew they mixed in the egg yolk, when they were only supposed to use the whites. stupid daryl.
put the egg into the miso soup, and GAVE IT TO ME!!
I WISH CONSTIPATION ON YOU!!
daryl had to go early, after the others nearly killed me with all the girly shops...
help.

went to starbucks with a bottle of sprite and some popcorn.
was afraid they would chase us away, cause we didn't buy anything.
so we took the empty cup from the next table and pretended we drank it.

according to adrielle;
"when cheapos gather, this is what happens"
words of wisdom.
starbucks will do well to remember that =]

random. a shot of the popcorn.
that fattened lindsay & nat.

not a very good picture. abit blurry.
hey, nat was moving, okay? and this was taken from my phone cam.
presenting...
our very own popcorn eating animal lover! =]

poor lonesome cup. we took away it's only companion, the plastic cup. oh well. people always leave. deal with it, my dear cup.

heh. all in all. quite fun except for my tired, overused legs and the stupid haze that RETURNED.

2006-10-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

i've alot to say. so i shall say them.

siying & kenton are planning something.
that everyone in our group knows about.
-
i've been on a short fuse.
screaming at everyone, and acting like a total idiot.
-
i've seen my first case of obsession.
it's scary.
how could a single person affect another's mood & life?
you gotta get over her...
your anger over her...
is palpable... it's scary...
-
mc & me spent the entire chinese talking about...
naruto...
i love you sasuke!
thanks for the info, mc...
-
my new boyfriend, fighting with cho hakkai is...
uchiha sasuke...
-
my newest boyfriend...

winston's pet sheep, called sheepo... =]
-
so. three boyfriends.
sheepo&chohakkai&uchihasasuke... =]

maybe itachi too?

2006-10-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

okay... sorry for the cynical post.
comes from obssessing over something that won't come true,
i.e. sasuke & hakkai =]

2006-10-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

they say you don't appreciate something until you lose it.
i say you don't realize it's worth till it leaves a gaping abyss of a void.
amounts to the same thing, doesn't it?

they say you want something because you can't have it.
i say you want something, and when you get it, you realize it's worth isn't what you thought it was.
still amounts to the same thing, doesn't it?

human nature. is stupid.
shocks don't come the second you lose something.
they come when you finally realize you've lost something.

having a reflective moment here... sound familiar? no? if not, think march 28 - 3o; & june 14 -17...

memories are useless things. they don't do you any good.
what do they do? they bring up thoughts of a past that is long gone.
irreversible.
you won't be able to change it, you won't be able to go back to it.
you made a mistake.
LIVE WITH IT. if you can't, tell me.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

it's exhausting. and yet, once you start on the memory lane, there's no going back...
you'll continue thinking about the things that you could have done...
should have done...
hope to go back to...

a big load of rubbish.

and you'll wish you had appreciated every moment of the wonderful time when whatever had been going on...
wishing time would turn back...

but if time could be turned backwards, would you know the value of what's happening, before it's all over?

of course not.

to heed my own advice.
i'm starting to delete a few documents.
no, i'm not

2006-10-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

'A shinobi [ ninja ] must always hide his emotions; he must have a heart that does not cry; but put the mission in top priority'
Naruto Episode 19- Shinobi saying 25

okay. naruto aside. i like that saying.
was super tired today so didn't go to school. caught up with some sleep in the afternoon.
haven't been sleeping well the past three days ie. slept at around five all three days.
hmph. whatever. amanda suggested aromatherapy. [ sniffing lavendar? she says sandalwood ]

i had a stomach upset - twice - tonight. help me.
ouch. hmph. alot of people were online. should be happy but.
everyone was yelling at me for staying home today.
i was tired. i had a headache.
stupid.

YOU THINK I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL?
YOU THINK I WOULD RATHER LOOK AT YOU OR MY GROUP?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE MY FRIENDS OVER ALL OF YOU?

in school, i can be myself. at home, i have to always be on guard, never saying anything that could be stored away, frozen and kept for future arguments. hmph.

oh well. in school, i would rather hang out with the boys than the girls.
the girls will smile in your face and stab you when you turn.
the boys never.
they'll just tell you they hate you in the face.
can't wait for the flea market discussions to start.
priya is pissed cuz she isn't in our group.
bah. our group is the best! varsha, siying, kenton, steven, mc, me.

attending talk with varsha tomorrow.
hmmm. maybe meet at steven's house?
i love sasuke!! hmmm. kakashi not bad either... =]

okay, regret having slept in the afternoon.
somehow one hour of sleep in the afternoon deprives me of three at night.
hmph. exhausted. maybe should go read?
heh heh.

2006-10-11T23:27:00.000-07:00

six words.
girls.can't.wear.pants.to.grad.
nooooo. we have to wear. skirts. or. dresses.
nooooo. miniskirts okay. but no micro mini.
allowed to wear any kind of earrings.
also allowing dyed hair. Weeeee! La!

i'm gonna highlight it gold [ wish fulfilled at last; been waiting since march ]
then wear ANKLE length black skirt. and SUPER hight collar white business suit.
muahaha! will look like wearing tux.
rebelling without rebelling.
muahahaha. i rock.

and performed on stage today. the dance 'sway'. weeeeee... i LOVE the spotlight! and stage life!
we messed up the timing twice... first time we ended at different times.
second we were too fast.
in the end, we realized it was because charlyn was going too fast, and varsha, marcus & me were following her... and the rest followed us...

during the last rehearsal, marcus swore. loudly and badly. tsk tsk.
also learnt the dance 'boogie fever' but it's not as fun as 'sway'.
and in 'boogie fever', there's this
JOHN TRAVOLTA
move.
to quote mc; "LAME"

2006-10-11T10:51:00.000-07:00

had a dance lesson today with mrs quek. yes. line dancing.
anyone who can imagine me shaking my butt, you don't know me.
quite fun, i guess. BUT. it ain't as easy as it looks.
esp. with the music on [ sway; pussycat dolls ]. super fast man.
first time i tried, its like, super cannot tahan.
then got the hang of it. and it WAS fun.

blah. what am i doing with the com on at two am.
havta TRY at least to go to sleep. blah.
kenton; i love your house; =]
mc; stop acting like a loner;
vk; i'll probably never find the time to link you, but you're still my best bud;
steven; if you pull my shoe off my leg once more, i'll pull your head off your sholders;
siying; you're so sweet & pretty i can't say anything;
shermay; you suck. but you still have such great friends =] you're so lucky =]

lindsay; you weren't there. i wish you were. but you probably wouldn't have withstood the swearing=];

2006-10-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

destination- kenton's house; the esparis;

transport- steven's mum drove us to tanah merah; we took the train to pasir ris; then a bus to his house;

company- vk; kenton; steven; siying; mc; me [ timothy was in the car ]

food- grilled chicken foldover [ macs ]; meat replaced with cheese; & fries & coke passed around in the bus while laughing at jokes [ everyone had a straw & the cup was passed around;

game- billiard

CLIMAX- we were playing billiard; while laughing like mad people at dumb jokes; & at vk; siying & steven's [ esp. vk ] LOUSY first time tries; when kenton's SUPER NOT SHUAI brother came in with his friends, challenged us, bounced their basketballs, whacked the security cam; it fell into the upper partition; and we were chased out by the security guard; half an hour later; when kenton's bro TOLD HIM [ idiot ];

ENDING- kenton was held responsible; when his mum called; he told the truth so his brother kena. then we spent the rest of the time stealing kenton's shoes; losing it; screaming; playing; and racing up the ropes; & cursing Quinton [ kenton's bro ]

THINGS WE LEARNT-

[ 1 ] the security guard wasn't working;

[ 2 ] kenton's brother is called CLIFTON; not LIFTON [ vk's mistake & bf ];

[ 3 ] vk was disappointed with Quinton; so she went for [ c ]lifton

the house- WAS SUPER NICE!! A TEN STAR NATURAL LEAFY EUTPIA!!

verdict- ONE OF THE BEST DAYS EVER!!

2006-10-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

just realized goo goo dolls sang a duet [ iris ] with avril

i FINALLY managed to copy the songs into my phone; am i; or am i not; an IT whiz? [ exhibit A; plays 'let everything that has breath' at max vol; my ears say ouch ]
weeeeeee! so happy could dance... i did... trust me; you did NOT wanna see i xD

can life get any better?

ummm yeah. the haze. has been bad. but it's clearing up.

to my 'relations'- LOVE YOU MIN LI [ amah ]; LOVE YOU SUNSHINE [ great ahkong ]; LOVE YOU 6D [ bros & sisters ]

2006-10-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

weeeeeeee. psle over! lalalalalalala!! outpouring of affection for everyone...

school;

I LOVE YOU 6C-IANS;

I LOVE YOU TPS;

cym;

I LOVE YOU ADRIELLE; SORK CHIN; JACELYN; JUNIE; ANNE; LINDSAY; NATALIE; DANIELLE;

MELLISSA; TANIA; DORA; AMANDA; MELODY; SANDRA; DARYL

I'M NOT GONNA TYPE ALL OUT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK I'M GONNA DO;

if i didn't type your name it doesn't mean i don't love you; it just means you're unfortunate enough to have your name cross my mind after my hands were sian of typing...

if i left you out, just drop a tag to reming me, okay?

yay! psle over!

oh, and i learnt how to pronounce Tania's name;

TANIA [ TEN - ee - ya LIN ]

MUAHAHAHAHA

2006-09-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

i feel really tired. i'm not allowed to sleep in the afternoon but can't sleep at night either. i get a bad headache everytime i stand, and a slight fever everytime i go for chinese tuition or school.

i hope i can survive till psle.

oh, and i downloaded 'one way, Jesus'

"one way, Jesus,

you're the only one that i could live for,

you are the way, the truth and the light,

we live by faith and not by sight,

for you,

we're living all for you;

yes, this song has my name on it... xD

2006-09-25T02:37:00.000-07:00

nine days. another nine days, before it begins. then another six days. and it'll all be over. no more lectures. no more bans from com. no more compulsory school. nada. nothing. six years of education is narrowed down to this day.

i can feel everything i wanted to say streaming out of my mind with the pressure of psle.

after this... the days count down to when i will never see 6C again.

just a few months ago i would have given anything to move on to a new school, but. i don't wanna lose my class. suffice to say they have erased from me an emptiness i never knew was there.

enough emo-ness. i just wanted to say.

I LOVE YOU CYM; I LOVE YOU 6C; I LOVE YOU LINDSAY; I LOVE YOU PAMELA; I LOVE YOU NIKKI; I LOVE YOU KENTON&STEVEN; I LOVE YOU MENG CHUN; I LOVE YOU VARSHA; I LOVE YOU JAMIE; I LOVE YOU PRIYA; I LOVE YOU TPS!

glad i got that out of my system. case of grad blues, i guess.

AND I LOVE YOU; THE PERFECT GUY OF MY DREAMS- GOD

2006-09-24T01:51:00.000-07:00

we played a game today. we each got a pack of m&ms, and we had to play scissors, paper, stone, and the loser had to give a m&m to the winner. i won the first round, with 11 m&ms. so tyco. they said that i could make a rule, for example, "whoever wears a red shirt gets two m&ms if they win";

someone(jon i think), said, "white shirt, white shirt!" heh. i was wearing a white shirt, so i said white shirt lor. heh. big cheer. then i made an ammendment: " all GIRLS in white shirt gets two m&ms"

heh. bigger cheer.

lost to brenda SEVEN times in a row. the lesson was about poverty. then they sabo me and said that due to the unfair rule(BLEH), the richer got richer and the poorer, poorer. heh. the white girls came to my defence. lol.

hsin fern did not dare play with me, cuz i was wearing a white shirt. LOL. then i won jon, and he only gave me one m&m, so i told him to give me another one, and his memory so jialat he thought he won(yeah right).

in the end he gave me an entire packet, which i ate during cg... YAY!!

watching naruto now. if i get addicted to this anime, i will KILL mc. still, i'm glad to have him as a friend(he likes 02jam too!), even it 'friend' can be slightly optimistic for someone suffers from constant mood swings... xD

Tania said that she slept at four last week, which was why she came late for befrienders... she didn't know i slept one and a half hours later than her, and still went to church early.... muahahaha.

shermay

2006-09-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

hars. appeared i was not blacklisted. so now i'm playing with three windows... lol. i rock. i never learn.

had a freaky dream about being in the car when it started moving by itself. knocked down a coupla motorbikes before i had the sense to stab the brakes. then was transported to a main road where i was fighting for the wheel with a bunch of three years olds that suddenly materialized.

someone - or maybe it was several people - once said that it wasn't fun to drive uphill. i agree. the cars are getting into me. new resolution- when i'm sixteen, i'm getting a lamborghini grallardo spyder. or mercielargo. i dunno. introduced by pamela.

hands are frozen. missed last episode of 'wo jiao jin san shun'. bumped around before watching vid. what kind of lousy ending is that? SANSHUN DIDN'T EVEN MARRY ZHENXIAN!

you know what? i'm swearing off korean drama. they always have the best plots and worst endings. 'da chang jin' was a perfect example.

grrr. made two mistakes in maths paper. minus five marks. feeling depressed.

sm

2006-09-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

went into library to use com... but not allowed to go into any sites that are not educational... wth... so was sneaking around with two windows...

then kenton and steven came in... they said they wanted to go to my house, but couldn't find me... and then they saw the other site i was going into... tania's site...

now the librarian knows... thanks to the noise they were making... i think i'm blacklisted... they just said i'm les... cuz i sat next to felicia... but they were playing a board game, so i said, "I'm not sitting to her as close as you are sitting next to each other..."

mild revenge.

I'm still blacklisted. i used the com.

put me behind bars...

sm

Working

2006-08-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

Got the first bit of work experience yesterday, after the long break in between from the NKF business project.

I learnt three valuable things.

1)Work makes you bushed, dead on your feet, tired, exhausted, etc, etc, whatever word used to describe tiredness.

2)Lack of manpower is a SCARY thing.

3)I must definitely find a job I like next time, and if I can't, at least one with a BIG, FAT PAYCHECK.

See, we had to first put the measuring jugs into plastic bags and staple them, making sure each class had thirty, before dumping them into black trash bags. The lack of manpower was frightening; Ms O, JY and me agaisnt 360 measuring jugs.

After we finished that, we had to do the cups, which made the jugs look like ABC.

The cups had to be put into each other, in order of size(E,D,C,A), put into plastic bags, stapled, counted, and dumped into the trash bags. SO, it was three people agaisnt 360 x 4 = 1440 CUPS!!!

SO, job distribution. I put the cups into each other and into the plastic bags while JY and Ms O stapled. Next, JY opened the trash bags and I threw the wrapped cups in. Basketball practice XDD.

The worst thing was soon to come. JY had to leave. So it was Ms O and me. Agaisnt the remaining cups. Sigh. As we finished, Lindsay was at the door, I let her in, and she helped me count the remaining stapled packages.

She worked for four minutes, I worked for four HOURS, but we got the same pay, namely a dollar to buy fries. Oh and Ms O owes us a treat...

And my knee injury has returned... in full force.

shermayy

striking inspiration

2006-08-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

well, at mell's house and for some reason the road here seemed extremely familiar.

inspiration struck AGAIN when I was waiting for one of the exams to end. This time it's about a girl in coma who subconciously refuses to awake cuz the guy she likes is at her bedside asking her to wake, but she knows he doesn't really like her.

well.

mentally, about to die. physically, the same.

unfortunately, still gonna read tonight.

I think.

Hopefully NOT.

drowning in emoness;
shermay

sometimes everything you want is everything you can't get.