Wednesday, October 25, 2006
@5:28 AM
frozen. quiet. silent.
standing in solitude.
cut off from the rest of the world.
to some, that may sound like hell.
to others, that may sound like heaven.
which category do you belong to?
to feel in danger, standing on the thin point of fragile ice.
about to splinter in every tiny move you make.
unsure of yourself.
surronded by people you don't know whether you can trust.
expectations crushing you.
fear of failure.
fear of loneliness, and yet,
a strange desire for it.
an urge to feel the pain of sacrifice.
sometimes...
trusting too much...
having too much...
being too contented...
loving too much...
caring too much...
can be the worst you can do.
because, when you lose everything...
you feel, why did i even form these ties,
if all that's going to happen is that i would lose it?
why do i have to leave?
why do i have to be rejected?
why am i the one who has to make the sacrifice?
i'm already gone...
i'm already disappearing...
i'll slowly fade...
gone from your sight...
tell me, is that what you want?
if it is...
then i'm sorry i ever bothered you...
i'll just go...
if that's what you really want...
tell me, do you find me a bother?
lost in solitude,
fear...
betrayal...
death...
everyone is born with their own destiny,
fighting it is a natural born instinct,
and yet, how many succeed?
the strong will be strong.
the weak will be weak.
a desire for love,
a fear of losing it,
i resist,
but can you go through life without love?
yes.
no.
i don't know.
will you tell me?
i shall go eat oreo now.
a random thought...
infiltrating my head after listening to,
'an jing' by jay chou.
the word 'an jing',
means silence,
but to an extent, it has connotations
of solitude, loneliness and melancholy.
and that shall be the title of this post.
