Wednesday, November 22, 2006
@12:52 AM
for an unaccountable reason, ive been sandwiching my thumb between two of my fingers and waving it around as i listen to music.
the plain symbolic significance of it seriously freaks me out.
i need a psychiatrist.
hmm .. a test i have just taken seems to have the opinion that i am 100% a paranoid schizo.
now, isnt that just lovely ??
it ties in with the test varsha did for me which produced the answer ..
"i dance the macarena because the voices tell me to"
as if the illness itself is not enough of a terror ..
youre telling me it further sends me spiralling down the depression chute by making me do ..
the MACARENA ??
and as the voices in my head tells me to jump off the building ..i feel my feet walking towards to ledge ..briefly .. i feel the wind upon my face ..this time .. i wont be called a coward ..this time .. i will do it ..i close my eyes. i breathe.i jump ! ..and land with a bump on the floor as my heroic leap of faith has landed me ..in the world of the living as i arise from my sleep ..how lame. this further proves the point that i cant be an author ..
